And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
