So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
