Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
