I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I faked an abortion last night.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
