After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He shit in the fireplace
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
