areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
