was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize