I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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