Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Come on in and take your pants off
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