The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
