We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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