So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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