look no pants
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
