my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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