i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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