she woke up with a sticky ear
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
