After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
