Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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