Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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