I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
