your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize