Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
