I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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