This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
