I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
