I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
