He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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