super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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