are you so shy because you have an std?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
