i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
