Three words: puerto rican gang bang
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
