Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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