Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
