i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
