I love black thongs
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
