how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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