My balls are so social today.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
