If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
