There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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