there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
