My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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