I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize