I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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