My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize