im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
