he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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