He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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