One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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