defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
