I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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