Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
