She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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