Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
