how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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