I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
