i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
