So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
