Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
