(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
