did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
