"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
