And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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