Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is wine microwaveable?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
