i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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