Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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