he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize