Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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