I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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