did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
