I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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