Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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