Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
